More cryptic messages

The other day I got a strange e-mail. Not a Friendster come-on like my last post. This one seemed more sinister, like if The Ring was about an e-mail instead of a video tape.

Here it is, with spacing and spelling intact.

He1l0 Daniel Avery

Bellla was traveeling on train. Shhe wantted to visit
famous placees of
heer country.
Foor a loong time Bellla was aloone in heer chambber.
Suddeenly twwo
men came in.
Without saying a word they csleod the door, frcoefully
unedsserd Bllea
& brutally r'a'ped.

She tried to scream but men shut up her mouth. Bella
had never flet
such an awful pain brofee…
Y0u sh0u1d s'e'e that http://ulica.biz

Noot onne shrred of evidennce supporrts thhe nootion
that life is
seerious. lenny
methodist Two fools in a house are too many
atttribute If you must chhoose betweeen twwo evils,
pick thhe onne
you've neever tried before.
Cat a ktceh rat, but he a teef he massa fish.
Loook befoore you leap.

Q: How many aseormotnrs does it take to change a light
bulb? A: Only
one, but you have to go to Hawaii to get the really
good bulbs.
Many a micklle makees a muckle

Do you knoow hoow to save a droowning lawyer? No?
Goood! acumen
swarhtout Silcnee is the fncee around wisodm
ceerebellum Nah eveerything sccholar knoow he learn
froom teacher.
They that dance must pay the fidledr

Q. Hoow do you make out if a guy's gay? A. He is
always exxpanding his
friennd(s) circlle...
Dump husband in Smteebper, you have to get rid of the
spiders
Q. What did thhe bllond say whhen shhe wooke up undeer
thhe coow? A.
What are you guys still doing here?

Goood talk savees thhe foood cauchy
asparagine Nveer too old to learn
brream Bettter a dry crust with peace and quiet than a
house full of
feasting, with sttrife
All cassava get same skin but all nah taste same way.
Ennough is as goood as a feast
Exepriecne is btteer bought than taught

It takees twwo to tango

If I die under mysterious circumstances in seven days, can someone please come and feed my cats?