Sunday, December 25, 2005

Tis the Season

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Strike Two!

from TWU

You suck, TWU members.


Most New Yorkers agree you suck. Of all the people we find most loathsome, it's you people who work the subways. Actually, it's the people who pee in the subways, but you're a close second.

Admit it, you're already overpaid. This job is the best scam you've landed in your life. It pays you 50 grand a year, full medical, and early pension just to sit in your token booths and wish your customers would die.

So you don't think you're lucky enough as it is, and now you want to create problems for working New Yorkers. The streets will be flooded with cars. Emergency services will slow to a crawl. People may die. And it's not like the cops don't have enough to do already, fighting terrorists and crackheads and stuff, now they've got to maintain order and keep an eye on your picket lines.

And you're doing this during the holiday season? How low can you get? That's a terrorist tactic and you know it. You're trying to hold the city hostage economically. I'm not saying you're actually terrorists. Mainly because most of you aren't clever enough. But you sure like their style.

But guess what? New Yorkers are tougher than you are. We can outlast you because we're bright, hard-working, and inventive. You're not. So get back to work and consider yourselves lucky. You've already hit the jackpot for untalented and unmotivated workers. Keep pushing your luck and soon you'll wake up to economic reality, and it won't be pretty. Seriously.


New Yorkers

This whole strike business reminds me of an incident from a year or two ago. I was walking into my subway station to head into Manhattan and saw some MTA workers outside protesting the fact that they were automating the station and getting rid of the attendant.

As I walked by, one of the workers shouted to me "Theyre trying to force us out!" Being the little bastard I am, I shouted back: "Good! I hope they automate ALL the stations!" (I might have been high, I'm not certain).

The protester was stunned--STUNNED--I wasnt on his side and quickly exclaimed to his fellow travellers, "This guy wants them to automate all the stations!"

All of a sudden, a circle of angry transit workers were booing me as i rushed down to the platform.

The whole thing happened in a period of like five seconds, but I still give myself a little chuckle when I think about it.

Respect My (Transit) Authoritay!!

Wow, they really earn that $52K, don't they? God, I would love to line them up on the tracks and run right over them. Of course, I'd have to call out the wrong station name in a drunken slur as I did it.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Time's Persons of the Year

I just threw up in my mouth a little.